


The Seventh Degree

by Neferit



Series: The End [3]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Drama, Gen, Male Friendship, The Animated Series cross
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-17
Updated: 2014-05-19
Packaged: 2017-11-10 04:05:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/462022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neferit/pseuds/Neferit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The very last degree which demolishes all. The very last... or maybe the very first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Recently, when I was browsing the old kink meme I actually found the promt which fitted the idea for this trilogy of mine. It was titled "annoyed Kirk is annoyed":
> 
> _Okay, so we've had quite a few fics where Kirk is in a relationship with someone and then he has to sleep with someone because of Starfleet or he's raped or whatever and then his lover assumes that Kirk cheated and then suddenly everyone on the Enterprise blames Kirk. Then Kirk gets sad and depressed until everything is revealed and everyone apologises._
> 
> _Well._
> 
> _I want this but I want Kirk to get really pissed off by the fact that everyone just assumes that he cheated and that no one has asked him what happened. So he's suffering from both the trauma of rape as well as the actions of his crew. Kirk is pissed so he's like 'fuck this shit' and gets himself transfered 'cos there's no point captaining a ship when your own crew don't believe your word. SO let's say Kirk goes to another ship or something and builds a rep there (doesn't even have to be as captain) and is awesome. Then somehow what really happened gets revealed and the Enterprise crew is like 'oh we fucked up BAD'. Cue a confrontation between Kirk and Crew. Ending is up to anon. Bonus is Bones believes Kirk and goes with him._
> 
> And as you can imagine, I was all teary eyed and 'oh my, great minds think alike!'

 

Ever since you set your feet on board of a space ship (all those years ago before today; before you were made to go through hell and before the world as you know was almost at its end), you knew that being in space, in the blackness which took your father and which hides unknown planets and people, friends, allies and enemies.

Part of you never wanted to return to space after what happened those months ago – but Bones just nagged at you long enough to make you reconsider and apply for another spaceship. You made his promise you he will continue being your primary physician, and you were content when he grumbled a lot but promised to follow you in the black again.

Starfleet granted you a smaller ship, _USS Saratoga_. It looked nothing like the silver lady _Enterprise_ , the crew may not have such high ratings as your previous crew had – but every single one of them meets your gaze when you come on board and you know that this crew will _always_ have your back. _Enterprise_ _Incident_ , as the whole thing is now unofficially called, showed an ugly precedent about not supporting your Captain, and crews watching their Captains more closely now are reported all that often now.

Part of you had been nervous that you will meet Enterprise at every 'corner' of the space – but Starfleet showed some brains (or maybe Chris and Old Spock showed enough stubbornness to win over the rest of admiralty – Old Spock may not be admiral himself, but he knows damn well how to apply some political pressure, and Chris knows the other admirals all too well, so he knows how to deal with them) and you are sent to the other side of Federation space, and only rarely come in communication range with _Enterprise_.

_Enterprise_ herself got a new Captain, Jason Morrick. You know the guy – he's strict but fair; you met him several times while you were planetside and he asked you to tell him more about the crew he was supposed to get. You liked the guy – he used to teach at the Academy, when he was planetside, too, and before the trial you are rather certain that you heard him yelling at bunch of gossiping cadets to mind their own business and stuff their prejudices where sun does not shine.

You shared some stories of times which were good and of times which were not so good, as well as about characters of the senior crew. So he knows that Chekov slips back into Russian when nervous or agitated and that he can count the variables for emergency transport quicker than computer.

He knows that Sulu can out-fence bunch of angry Romulans and fly the ship more efficiently than three other helmsmen.

He knows that Spock can manage to be chief science officer, as well as be the First Officer – and still have energy to take a shift in science labs.

He knows that Uhura can translate in or from almost 90% of Federation languages now and glare daggers at anyone who dares to doubt her proficiency.

He knows that Scotty can repair everything with a gulp of scotch and roll of stick tape.

And, of course, he knows how bitter is the taste it leaves in your mouth that no matter of their brilliance, they still failed in what makes crew a good crew.

Never let your Captain down.

To say that you were surprised that the Enterprise crew remained mostly the same, with exception of Captain and CMO is an understatement. Part of you expected the crew to be divided to several other ships – but when you mention it to Bones, he just snorts and mumbles: "Wanted to have them troublemakers all in one place," and it makes sense, when said like that.

In the rare messages you receive from Jason – sent through Chris – he mentions that the crew is very much subdued; especially the command crew. They had been behaving, you are told, their work exceptional. Nothing less could be expected, though – they still have the highest genius-in-the-house ratio. You feel a bit proud at their accomplishment – just like Jason – but he keeps it from showing too much. He mentions that all of them seem to be keeping to themselves, staying aside from other crews, when more ships meet at shore-leave.

Part of you misses them – but your new command crew is eager to better themselves, to prove themselves to be good. You briefly think about them – one of your acquaintances from time before the Starfleet Academy would say that you are just enjoying your freak show, since there is higher number of aliens in your new crew.

Communication officer M'Ress, a young Caitian woman, starts to learn several new languages in her free time.

Helmsman Akari can be found in simulators, improving his manoeuvring technique together with navigator Arex, who, just for a change, is Edosian – and in fact better at navigating than even Chekov was (part of you think it must be the extra hands, the long years of practice and the fact that this guy used to be one of Chekov's instructors).

The Second Officer, brisk and usually quiet engineer Filars, often comes to you to ask about the latest upgrades she would like to install – and while she's at it, she usually pokes you in the ribs and says you are not eating enough, just like a mother would – and then almost drags you to officer mess.

First Officer, an Andorian of name Thelin reminds you of Spock in some aspects – the same logical approach, the same brilliant mind. But unlike Spock, Thelin actually _smiles_ time to time, actually _flashes jokes_ and _plays pool_ so well that he definitely gives you run for your credits every time you two play.

Together with Bones by your side it's like home.

You once mention it to Thelin when you are playing pool. Corners of his mouth rise a bit. "That is a sentiment I can relate to, Captain," he says in his quiet voice, his antennas leaning your way. "Family, the born into or received, is of most importance to us Andorians."

It still comes like a surprise when you are 'hiding' in your cabin on your birthday (because there are many wrong connotations to the date that not even calls from Chris, Old Spock or Joanna can make it brighter), only to be called by the intercom to the mess hall – for a surprise birthday party. The crew made you (and themselves) an absolutely enormous cake, with sugar coating and writings of "Happy Birthday!" in who knows how many languages.

You remember birthday celebration of the other Jim, the one whose memories showed in the impromptu mind-meld on Delta Vega. The decorations are there, the cake is there, the singing is there – just the crew is different.

But the knowledge no longer sends painful pangs in your chest.


	2. Chapter Two

Old Spock himself is calling regularly. In the depths of his so human-like eyes is sadness, when he calls for the first time, only to be replaced by slight amusement he refuses to tell you about (because you seriously could use some laugh now) when he calls you next time. Later, laughing Bones tells you what amused the old man so – who would have thought that Vulcans enjoyed chewing people so much? Because obviously that’s exactly what the man did. What you wouldn’t give for being a fly on the wall at _Enterprise_ when that happened!

According to the newest batch of orders, you are supposed to be patrolling one part of the borders with Romulan space. Given your luck, it’s also the part of borders with Klingon Empire. So there you are, minding your own business as _Saratoga_ quietly flies through space when the whole ship shakes, knocking most of the standing people to the ground.

“Red alert,” sounds M’Ress’ voice through the intercom. “This is not a drill, red alert. Captain to the bridge!”

You run through the corridors of _Saratoga_ as quickly as your legs are able to carry you, getting to the bridge just to get yourself knocked off your feet as the ship is hit again. “Thelin,” you yell over the screeching of red alert, “report!”

“An unknown vessel decloacked and immediately attacked us without any warning. Parts of the ship had been identified as Klingon, but parts of its design remain unidentified.”

“M’Ress,” you turn towards your communication officer, “open all channels and frequencies. This is Captain James Kirk of _USS Saratoga_ speaking. You are in Federation space and attacking Starfleet vessel. State your intentions.”

The alarms are screeching, reports already pouring through to the communication console, when M’Ress calls out: “We got visual.”

You signal her to connect the attacker to the main screen, suppressing a shudder. Klingon face fills the screen, the man giving you amused grin – which, given the fact that it’s _Klingon_ who is grinning, looks rather scary. “Hello James, I’m Kor.”

It’s a bit like a punch in the gut. ‘Hello Christopher, I’m Nero.’ The history repeating itself.  Will the results be the same?

“The Empire heard much of you, Captain Kirk, and of your father. Twelve minutes of captaincy and saving eight hundred lives. Or saving the Earth. Or the rather spectacular… court you were part of.”

Of course the Klingon bastards had heard about that. Everyone and their mother had heard about it. And of course there are some people who think that raped people are useless and weak. Just like Klingons have tendency to think.

You force yourself into giving them the eyebrow move Bones always gave you when you were saying some of your monkey muffins (where on Earth did the man find that idiom is something you wonder about time to time).

“Well, mister Kor, nice of you to hear about me – but your intentions remains unclear. I would appreciate, if you just told me why you just attacked my ship.”

“Your father had been a great man,” says Kor and you feel muscles in your face tighten. Oh, _right_ – throwing your father in your face again. Old trick is old. “But Nero told us _you_ were a great man once, too…”

So this is where Narada had been hiding all those years between Kelvin Incident and Battle of Vulcan. At Klingon’s. How very nice to know right now. Just looking at Kor’s grinning face tells you that Nero may have been crazy when he appeared in this universe – but his ‘stay’ with Klingons definitely made him even crazier.

“I’m positive you’ll find out that many things remain the same, Kor,” you say, giving Kor an obviously false smile.

“I certainly hope so, Captain Kirk,” he grins one more time and then quits the channel.

You grimly face your bridge crew, who is looking at you with various degrees of nervousness. “Damage report, M’Ress?” you ask, the officer promptly starting to recite the amount of damage the ship suffered. Half of the system is not working, next quarter is on the edge of system failure and the rest is working in so-and-so way.

“Put me through the intercom, M’Ress,” you say, and as she quickly connects you to the intercom, you start speaking: “This is Captain speaking. We were attacked by enemy vessel, which identified itself as Klingon. As you already noticed, they ceased to fire, once they managed to put enough damage on us. Most of the systems are failing. We will send emergency transmissions. All crew is to report to emergency shuttles.”

You switch the intercom off, quickly thinking about the transmission you will send. You wrote a cipher code program long time ago, and now it will definitely come in handy; only the Starfleet ships do have the equipment to have the transmission coded like that decrypted. With a nod to M’Ress you start speaking:

“This is Captain James T. Kirk from _USS Saratoga_. Ship was attacked by originally unknown attacker, who later identified as Klingon Captain of name Kor. He hinted at knowing about Nero and Narada, as well as my trial which took place several years ago. As this is state of dire emergency, computer systems not working properly anymore, I’m ordering all-personnel evacuation.”

The whole bridge crew watches you wordlessly for a moment before Thelin speaks: “I believe you have some ‘trick up your sleeve’, as the saying goes, Captain.”

You give him a grin, insincere and wrong. “You believe right. The infamous Kirk manoeuvre.  Program the ship computer and ram it into the enemy vessel. Sounds like a good plan, no?

That’s when Bones makes it to the bridge, and when he hears about ‘Kirk manoeuvre’, he snaps: “Damit, Jim, you want to commit suicide or what?!”

Part of you knows that at one period of time you wanted to do it, to flip the finger at the idiots who wronged you, for one last fuck you. But that was seemingly so long ago – Bones certainly should know better than to ask this.

“I won’t end like my father, Bones. You know me, always the rebel,” you answer. “Now, Thelin, help me to re-route the controls here so we can set it properly and the rest, get your asses to the shuttle hubs.”

Everyone but you, Thelin and Bones clear the bridge. As you turn to start working, Bones grabs you and hugs you tightly. You recognize the feel – Bones is not very tactile, but after the trial and before you got command of _Saratoga_ , he would hug you exactly like that, enveloping you in feelings of security and trust. Now, there is something else in it. Worry.

You allow yourself a moment to rest in his embrace, pressing him back with the same intensity, before you step away. “Go, Bones, it won’t take long,” you say. And Bones nods and leaves, leaving you and Thelin alone.

As you work, Thelin says in conversational tone: “I believe, Captain, that you are aware that the chances of transporters not working when you need them now are over 90 percent?”

“Yes,” you answer, your fingers stopping for a second before they resume their typing. “But you know me, Thelin, just like the rest of the ‘fleet – no such thing as a no-win scenario.”

No such thing as a no-win scenario. Your father had twelve minutes of Captaincy, and saved eight hundred people, you and your mother among them. You were Captain for much longer time, saving millions of people – but only your crew matters to you now. _Bones_ matters now.

“You should go to your shuttle,” you tell Thelin, who is just finishing his share of commands. At his questioning gaze you give him a smirk. “Don’t worry about me – I’m too awesome to die now!” He doesn’t respond in any other way than with a small bow; sign of respect when coming from him. With sense of finality he leaves, the doors closing after him with a soft whoosh.

You are alone now, thoughts of worry about your crew battling their way through your focus. You do not have the time to think of them; it’s time to issue the final commands, release the emergency shuttles and ram this ship into Klingons, to show them a what for.

You finish typing the last commands. “Computer, lock the helm at coordinates of Klingon ship, code Kirk beta gama dzeta three five one.”

“Acknowledged.”

“Computer, release the remaining emergency shuttles, code Kirk primo quinto one five.”

“Acknowledged.”

“Activate transporter, once the coordinates are applied and shuttles released, activation code Kirk one point five six gama.”

“Denied.”

Your heart twists painfully. “Activate transporter, once the coordinates are applied and shuttles released, code Kirk one point five gama,” you repeat.

“Denied,” says computer. “Transporters offline, due…”

Thelin was right. Bones was right. The chances were high and this time, you won’t beat the odds. Just like your father.

“Computer, call emergency shuttle 156.”

“Jim?” sounds Bones’ voice. “What are still doing on _Saratoga_? Transport here!”

“I can’t.”

The silence is deafening, before Bones speaks again. “Jim?”

“Yes.” You laugh hollowly. “Looks like I’m just like my father after all.”

The controls start screeching. “Bones, the computer says that another ship just entered the system and should be here pretty quickly. We can’t risk it arriving too late. The Klingons are loading their weapons.” You pause. “I’m sorry, Bones.”

“No, Jim, don’t you dare….!” starts Bones, his voice panicking in a way you haven’t heard before. You kill the connection before he can say anything more.

“Computer, issue command code Kirk beta gama dzeta three five one.”

“Acknowledged.”

“Full speed.”

The Klingon ship is becoming bigger and bigger on the screen, and then _Saratoga_ is hitting it, enveloping you in white light and almost against your will you start screaming.

_Aaaaaaaaaaaah!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, that's me. Leaving you hanging with a cliffhanger. Because hey, it's still not finished.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where it all comes to the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uhm, hello! I know it had been eternity since this fic had been updated, but I'll have you know I never forgot about it. It's just that my muse never sat still for long enough for me to finish this piece. But here it is - probably not one of my best work, but certainly the best my muse is able to come up with.

 

Suddenly, there is nothing but the white light all around. You are no longer screaming but are confused. What happened to _Saratoga_? The Klingon ship? How did you get in here? And _where_ is this here?

"Full of questions, are you?" sounds a voice behind you, startling you from your thoughts. You spin around, finding a smirking man behind you. He wears something that obviously is uniform – but although the insignia on his chest looks familiar, the uniform design is just strange.

"Who the _hell_ are you?" you blurt, causing the strange man to chuckle.

"Hello Jim. You may call me Q," he says, corners of his lips curving up a bit. It sends shivers down your spine because you know that this… this man is dangerous. Or maybe could be dangerous – if he wished so. You have a feeling he knows you are thinking that, as the corners of his mouth rise oh-so-little.

"Where are we, Q?"

"I hoped you'll ask that," he beams. "This," he gestures around, "is Q Continuum."

"Do not take me wrong, Q, but exactly why did you bring me here?" you blurt. Last you remember you were on the bridge of _Saratoga_ , crashing into the Klingon ship, transporters of your ship offline and the new ship entering the system had been too far for their transporters being of any use.

"That is quite a question, my dear Captain," Q says jovially. "I trust you remember Spock?"

Spock. And from Q's words you know he means not _this_ Spock, but _that_ Spock. Yes, of course you remember meeting him. You remember every single one of your talks, in fact. So you nod and Q continues: "That timeline had been my favourite. Since all that mess with red matter, Nero and changes in timeline, the possibility of my favourite timeline coming to life is pretty low." He gives you a mournful smile. "The Enterprise crew certainly didn't help the matters."

Then his eyes are directly on you again. "And now, James Tiberius Kirk, the question is – what do you think should happen?"

"You mean I have options?" you wonder aloud, earning yourself a chuckle. "There always are options, Jim. Maybe showing you what would happen would help you to decide?"

You nod. White fog envelops you. Low voice says: _'Embrace eternity!'_

**-o.O.o-**

Young Chekov is programming next round of manoeuvres, tears running down his cheeks, the sorrowful _"I never told him I'm sorry, I never told him I'm sorry…"_ replaying in his mind over and over.

Bones is barely keeping himself together, as he rushes all around the cargo hold, where all the emergency shuttles are brought to, running an osteoregenerator over a broken bone here and giving a hypo with tranquilizers there. He completely ignores anyone from _Enterprise_ crew, apart from the CMO herself, since he needs to cooperate closely to make sure everyone is out of danger, the uninjured _Saratoga_ crewmen always in reach.

Over there, Thelin is calmly explaining what led to the attack, what happened during it and in between their landing on _Enterprise_. The rest of the command crew certainly cooperates, adding a detail here or there, since not even Thelin could be everywhere at all times, but there is air of distrust around them that even you can feel it, being not entirely there.

_This is what is going to happen, if the timeline is not allowed to heal itself. Watch, Jim Kirk, watch and decide._

Bones surrenders to alcohol not long after he resigns at his post in Starfleet. After months of self-abuse in way of combining antidepressants and alcohol, he is found in one of the streets of Riverside. The autopsy states alcohol poisoning as reason of his death.

The others from your crew go on separate ways, often resigning on space duty; choosing to keep themselves in laboratories, as there is no further reason for them to serve in black anymore. They make a number of lab-based discoveries and you can't help but feel pride at their accomplishments. But it's an empty feeling, for you should be there with them, to praise them in person, to record the commendation into their files.

_And this is what could happen, if the timeline is allowed to heal itself._

You see yourself attending number of political events; smoothing over the ruffled feathers of ambassadors as well as being an interesting company yourself.

You see your crew entering another ship – a new _Saratoga_.

You see yourself and Bones attending Joanna's prom, both of you radiating pride at the young woman, who grew into a beauty.

You see yourself growing old, but not alone. _Never_ alone.

_Choose, Jim Kirk._

And you do.

**-o.O.o-**

When you wake up, it's in Enterprise sickbay, with Bones hovering above you, dark circles surrounding his eyes.

"Jim," he whispers, and then crushes you in an embrace. Embrace you return with just as much urgency, clinging to him as if your life depended on it, and maybe it does.

_Enterprise_ crew is hovering nearby, and you know it's time to finally confront what happened between you all those years ago, but you already know you will forgive them.

Forgive them, but never forget.

There will be times for giving a full-report of what the hell did just happen, but for now, you are content to be here with Bones, with your friends who served with you on _Saratoga_ , and you feel more alive than you ever did.

One last thought plays through your mind: _"If you think I do not have sense of humour, just remember who created a platypus."_

And you smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is all from me, folks. But if you are interested in more of this AU, I would recommend you to read a new work by marvelous and shiny SeekHim, who is currently working on a fic, where Jim from this universe is getting ready for command of Saratoga. Its name is [A New Start](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10360290/1/A-New-Start), and if I were you, I would definitely give it a read.
> 
> Oh, and in case you are wondering about the one who created platypus, I believe Q said it at the end of novel _Q Squared_.


End file.
